Yes, I intentionally titled this: Are you organized for if you die? Yes, I intentionally said “IF” as if you really have much of a choice in the matter.
I have spoken before about the time a client called me, on my cell phone, on a Saturday night, as I sat watching television in our family room. I remember it vividly! I was in the rocking chair that actually had been a “nurser-rocker” from when our first child was born 10-12 years before that. I don’t even watch much TV so this was unusual but the family was out of town and there I was. I took the call, thinking it was the husband as we were friends, but it was the wife. Her words struck me as she said something to the effect of her husband “had a heart attack, is alive, but I don’t even know where our money is….” After giving her some thoughts and suggestions I hung up, picked up my laptop, and started jotting down notes for my family! What if something happens to me!? To use Mr. Braddock’s terminology this was my wake up call! There were others but that one call really clicked with me!
I recently read the book, CLICK HERE WHEN I DID, Making Things Easier for Those You Love. It’s available on Amazon and here’s that link. The book is written by Jon Braddock. He does a nice job incorporating humor into a tough subject… D-E-A-T-H! I particularly enjoy a comment in the introduction where he says there is a “one in one chance” that you will die. Really the only question is WHEN. As Mr. Braddock discusses it could be in a car accident (1 in 5 million chance he says) or a plane accident (1 in 30 million chance) or something else and that event could be today or in a long time. We don’t know! That’s why the key is being prepared.
Early on he tells the story of the unexpected death of his father in law. He speaks of law enforcement asking questions like which funeral home to take him to, did he want to be buried or cremated, etc…. Yes, you might think about those things but do your loved ones know? He mentions other items that your loved ones will have to do… during that time, presumably, when they are majorly upset and grieving! Mr. Braddock includes:
The list goes on from there. Get the book for the rest of that list! The point is, you will not be there to help during that time so do something about it NOW! Mr. Braddock mentions his My Life and Wishes Organizer which is still on Amazon. Here’s that link. I have not used Mr. Braddock’s organizer personally but I LOVE the concept and encourage you to buy is or find another but take action before you die please! Actually, do that before you end up in the hospital unconscious and/or completely incapacitated. He went online with it and here’s that link.
The book goes into questions beyond the scope my own document that I created for my family. He asks questions such as:
The list goes on from there. Good info that your loved ones may or may not have. Heck, that first question is probably a whole separate blog post, or two, in and of itself!
He also makes a good point that we plan for everything such as our next vacation, our retirement, and even what we’ll watch on TV that night… but we don’t plan for our death… even though there is a 100% certainty it will happen. He brings up more points and topics to discuss but, again, get the book. It’s a quick read!
All of this certainly reminds me of my mom’s tragic and very sudden death in 2016. She was 70-something and had Parkinsons but we really hadn’t thought it would happen. So she had an estate plan, her finances were pretty well organized and she had told me her desire for where to scatter her ashes. I know she is looking down at me, as I type that, as I still haven’t taken the small box of ashes to India to scatter them in the Ganges River. Mom, I PROMISE we will do that soon!
His next great point is when you go on an extended vacation, or maybe even just a long weekend, you make arrangements with a neighbor, friend or relative right!? You tell them about the dog, the fish tank, the mail, where your spare key is, etc… but you don’t take such action even though, again, there is a ONE IN ONE chance you will die one day! He makes a lot of good points but that’s a GREAT one! As he indicates take responsibility yourself, as the adult child, to find out what your parents want! That is, in addition to leaving what you want for your loved ones… take some responsibility and find out what your elders want, get their financial info if they’ll share it, etc….
Mr. Braddock speaks of a three step process to effectively implement, what he calls, the New Death Etiquette. He includes great detail in the book but in short he says:
STEP ONE: WHAT ARE YOUR FINAL WISHES?
STEP TWO: WHO’S GOING TO PAY FOR ALL THIS?
STEP THREE: WHERE IS EVERYTHING?
Again, he breaks down a ton of sub-questions under each of those steps. A lot of details for you consider. Some may be irrelevant to you and some may be THE number 1 thing you don’t want your loved ones to miss so definitely check his book out.
Mr. Braddock’s chapter on estate planning goes into a lot of things that I have mentioned on here before but some good reminders:
His information goes on but, again, please go read the book!
Mr. Braddock’s next chapter is about family dynamics. This is something I have definitely blogged about before but, again, I like how he frames the topic. When you go away for a long weekend with your spouse, to get away from the screaming kids, you give detailed instructions to the caretakers. That is, you tell grandma and grampa all they need to know in way more detail than they want. It is often written. It may include phone contacts, for the kids, such as their doctor! What about if you die? Do you have that information written out for your kids? Who will take them? What matters to you? Who is their doctor? The list goes on and on! It reminds me of the movie Raising Helen, from many years ago, in which the woman who unexpectedly dies named her wild and single sister to be the guardian of her child and not the suburban living sister. Put it in writing whatever it might be! Also, Mr. Braddock provides a good reminder – DO NOT FORGET ABOUT YOUR PETS! Plan for your fur babies too!
The next chapter is about your digital stuff. I have blogged about this many times and, as I think about it, each of those posts is partially out-of-date as our connection to the digital world just increases every day! However, the same principals apply as before. Mr. Braddock covers a lot of great topics such as websites like Facebook which allow you to appoint a survivor, the problems with having autopays set up, how to store your website login info, etc…..
Ok, so that was supposed to be a quick summary but there is so much good information in the book. It’s a fast read! I read it in one day. Great use of humor to discuss a tough topic!
Check out both books on Amazon – My Life and Wishes Organizer and Click Here When I Die.
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